


Hold On To You

by autumnplants



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Mentioned suicide attempts, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-12 16:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15998651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autumnplants/pseuds/autumnplants
Summary: Living with someone who suffers from PTSD is hard. Especially when it's a loved one and all you want is to take the pain away.





	1. 1.

**Author's Note:**

> So I know that Hold On To You is definitely a Axel/Roxas Axel/Xion Axel/Roxas/Xion song, but I felt that for this particular story in hand, I felt that the title was really appropriate. If you haven't given it a listen, I highly recommend you do. It is a great song and it's definitely one of my faves.

The ride had been long and Riku was getting testy because some of the asshole drivers that were occupying the road, some going so slow it seemed they were going 25 miles under the speed limit. Sora gave his boyfriend a small smile and rubbed his thumb over his hand in an attempt to soothe him. 

“We’re almost there right? While you unpack, I can run down to the little food place down the street and get us dinner. Just remember Riku, this is the last trip we have to make before we are completely done moving into our new place!” Sora softly. He could tell Riku was just tired and wanted to be done with the driving back and forth and to be settled into their new place already. 

Moving his boyfriend’s hand to his mouth, Riku placed a gentle kiss before letting go. 

“That sounds lovely.” 

\---

As Riku unpacked the truck, Sora made his way to the little mexican restaurant that was pushed back into a corner just down the road from their new home. He ordered as many 75 cent tacos as he thought he and Riku could eat and headed back, two bags of styrofoam boxes in each hand. 

“I’m home Riku! And I brought tacos!” he said putting the bags on the counter and opening them. Riku came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Sora’s waist from behind as Sora busied himself getting out paper plates and utensils because who wants to clean dishes when you haven’t unpacked your things? 

“How many did you get?” Riku asked him as he buried his face into Sora’s hair, breathing in the smell of citrus and Sora’s natural musk which reminded him of summers spent at the islands they grew up at. 

“At least twenty.” Sora replied as he handed Riku a plate which consisted of beans, rice and 7 tacos. He headed out into what was presumably going to be their living room and sat down in front of box. “What would you like to watch? Riku asked him. 

Sora joined him a moment later a thoughtful expression on his face. “Hmm, maybe vine comps? Those are always fun.” he said as he sat down, two Dr. Peppers under his arm. 

Once they were settled, it was quiet except the sound from Riku’s phone which was propped up against their soda cans. 

Laughter echoed through the empty house as one of the favorite vines played, the young couple leaning against each other and enjoyed their pizza.

The doorbell ringing and a soft knock on the door burst the bubble they were in. Sora and Riku looked at each other before getting up to answer the door.

Sora peaked around the wall from the kitchen as Riku answered the door, a cheerful and familiar voice echoed from the doorway. Heading over to see who was there, Sora’s face lit up when he saw Axel and Roxas standing there with what looked to be a basket of kitchen goodies and a plate of brownies.

“Welcome to the neighborhood!” Axel said handing the the items to Sora and turning to Riku to give him a hug. He then gave one to Sora who set the basket on the kitchen counter. Then it was Roxas’ turn and soon the four of them were making a game plan on where to start on the mountain of boxes that had formed into the living room. 

Roxas was take the boxes into the kitchen, since he was the smallest of the four and had a good idea of how he wanted to rearrange the kitchen for his friends. After all, he had his degree in Interior design. 

Riku and Axel both agreed to work on the living room together, since it was the second biggest room and had the biggest furniture besides the bedroom, which is where Sora resided, laying the mattress since the California King Size bed was way too big for him to jimmy the sheet over the corners evenly. 

Eventually he gave up, knowing this was going to have to a two person job. 

Grabbing another box, Sora moved into the master bathroom and started unpacking their things, setting everything where he expected to look the best and made note of the shelves above the toliet and the extra towel bar that would come in handy for when the received their his and his towels. 

As Sora start looping the shower curtain onto the shower curtain rail bar, there was a loud crash from the other room and his body stiffened. Loud noises always set off his PTSD and hearing the loud crash and the sound glass shattering was no different.

Riku was in there in five seconds flat, kissing Sora’s face and holding him close reminding him that he was safe, that he was in his new home and the sounds of war were just old memories; long lingering memories.

Sora slumped in Riku taking a deep breath and nodded at his fiancé. “What happened?” His voice soft and almost too quiet. 

“Axel dropped a box. Total accident. You know him, butterfingers.” Riku kissed his face a few more times. Axel and Roxas peered into the room, looking concerned. 

Sora turned to them a smile on his face. “It’s all good, I’m all good.” He promised as soon they were all back in their respective rooms, Axel banned from picking up any more boxes because he was clumsy and Riku didn’t want any more scares.

Once the boxes had been unpacked and all important rooms had been filled with respective furniture, electronics plugged in and boxes were broke down enough to fit into the recycle bin, Axel and Roxas went home. It wasn’t a far walk, just down the street. 

“I’m glad they came over. Maybe Roxas can help with the office.” Sora states, his hand finding Riku’s as they lay on the unmade bed for a moment. Sora curled himself up into Riku’s side and kissed his neck gently. “The beds not gonna make itself.” He whispered. Riku let out a gentle laugh, vibrating the bed and soon was on top of Sora kissing him slowly and gentle, just the way he liked and then rolled off the bed so they could finally get this fitted sheet on it.


	2. 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be updating this story weekly (hopefully) and on Mondays.

PTSD was no joke, but it came in waves and when some thing caused a trigger there were at least three more triggers to follow.

Sometimes it was within the same day, sometimes it was over the course of a few weeks.

Sometimes it would just be Sora crying and screaming in his sleep until Riku woke him up and held him until the panic attack subsided. 

When they first started dating, Sora had been upfront with him about his PTSD. That weekend after their first date, Riku did some research on how to help a significant other with PTSD. He bought himself a kettle and some tea and hot chocolate for when Sora would have those nights. It helped Sora, gave him something to focus on, the warmth of the cup against his hands, the smell of the tea or hot chocolate. It helped him relax and remember that he was no longer _there_. He was safe and sound and would _never_ have to go back. 

The worst days were when he came home and Sora stared at him, as if he had no idea who he was, just staring in pure horror, never moving until he passed out due to pure shock. There were other times when Sora would attack him, screaming at the top of his lungs wanting to free himself from the horror living in his head. Riku allowed him to hit him, the screaming sometimes hurting his ears. He was always there for him when he came out of his panic, holding him, reassuring him everything was _okay_ , and promising hot chocolate or tea, whatever the younger male was in the mood for. 

Even though he disliked those nights, terrified to even think about what his fiance was going through, he wouldn't trade Sora for anything. 

He brought some hot chocolate to Sora, whose eyes were red with tears. “Baby…” Riku set the hot chocolate onto the nightstand that stood on Sora’s side of the bed. He crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arms around Sora and buried his face into his hair. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Sora’s hands were gripping on Riku’s arms, sobs making his shoulders quiver. “I-if these terrors d-don’t s-stop, you’re not gonna m-marry me. You’ll find a reason t-to end things.” He cried, his face buried in Riku’s shirt, dampening the cotton.

Hearing Sora’s fears made Riku pull him in closer. “Sora. I have known you my whole life. Why would I have asked you to marry me if I didn’t think I couldn’t be the best partner and help you when you were having a bad day? I knew from the moment you told me you were going to join the Army, things were going to be tough. But it’s why we utilize the VA counseling and the doctors. I know it’s hard, but we can do some research and see what resources are out there for you.” he promised, his forehead pressed against Sora’s. 

After a moment, Riku pulled away. “Cmon. I’ll run you a bath.” he said handing him his hot chocolate. 

Sora stared at the mug before bringing it to his lips and taking a sip. He nodded after taking another one and stood up. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Riku reassured.

——

Axel had spent most of his evening crouched over his desk in his office, grading essays and texting Roxas while he was away at an interior design seminar. He hadn’t realized how late it had gotten when his phone started ringing. He didn’t bother looking at the caller id, thinking it was his boyfriend, whose call he had been waiting for all night. 

“Hey babe, I missed you.” Axel said into the phone. 

A chuckle that didn’t belong to Roxas filled his ear. “Babe? You haven’t called me that since college Ax.” Riku said into the phone. 

Feeling his face flushing with warmth, Axel sighed as he leaned back into his chair. “Fuck. Dammit Riku. I was expecting a call from Roxas. He's out of town for the week.” his eyes widened when he saw the time. “Son of a bitch.” he closed his folder and leaned back in his chair. He hadn’t realized how late it was. 

“Why are you up so late anyway?” Axel inquired. He knew Riku was an early sleeper and early riser, so knowing he was awake at 2:30 in the morning, was an odd feat in itself. 

“Sora. He's having really bad night terrors. I'm honestly afraid to ask him what it is that's happening when they occur. They just changed his medication, so I wanted to see if you had any antidotes that could help him sleep better while his body’s getting used to this new medication.” 

Axel wracked his brain, but was unable to really think of anything. “I can’t think of anything. Well, melatonin, but I don’t know if that’s smart giving him a sleep aid. Roxas has a friend, he met when he was in college. Her name is Namine, she’s a psychologist who specializes in sleep. I think she even works with the VA too.” he mentioned. 

“Really? When Roxas gets back would you mind asking him to forward her information to me? I’m gonna see if Sora wants to see her. Maybe she can do something.” Riku stated. 

Axel bit his lip. “Riku, you know this is his life now right? The terrors aren’t going to go away completely.” 

“Yeah, I know. I want what’s best for him. I fear one day I’m gonna wake up and he’s not going to be here anymore and I’ll have myself to blame because I didn’t do more for him.” Axel could hear the sobs getting caught in Riku’s voice as he spoke. 

He wished there was more he could do for his friends. “Sora is crazy strong dude. I know he has bad days. No one blames him for it. And no one blames you for it either. Sora is fucking so lucky to have you by his side while he learns to deal with this new life. I can’t imagine how much he appreciates you.” Axel said. He rubbed at his eye and yawned. 

“I’ll let you go Ax, thanks for the pep talk. Tonight was just a rough night and I needed to hear it.” 

Axel waved him off, even though he knew Riku couldn’t necessarily see him. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll put it on your tab.” he teased. “I’ll talk to you at work on Monday alright?” 

After they said their goodbyes, Axel looked at his phone, wondering why Roxas didn’t call him like he had promised. 

He picked it up and sent a quick text to his boyfriend. 

_A: “Hey cutie. You having too much fun, you forgot about me?”_ He hit send. 

Few minutes later, his phone buzzed.

_R: “How mad would you be if I told you I passed out after the first seminar?”_ The reply read. 

_A: “No anger present here. Just wanted to make sure you were safe. Got a question, is Namine still working with the VA?”_

_R “I believe so. Why?”_

_A: “Sora’s having issues sleeping. Riku thought maybe she’d be able to help. Since she works directly with people suffering from sleep related problems.”_

_R: “I’ll ask her when I get home. Remind me.”_

_A: “Will do.”_

_R: “Send me a pic of your face. I miss it.” ___

__Axel chuckled before accessing his camera and taking a selfie. Finding the photo acceptable, he sent it to Roxas._ _

___“I miss u too bb. I’m gonna sleep. Ttyl.”_ _ _

__Gathering his things and making his desk less cluttered, Axel got ready for bed. He would make sure to give Riku, Namine’s information the moment he got it._ _

__——-_ _

__After his phone call with Axel, Riku headed back into the bathroom to find Sora was no longer in the tub, but taking a shower. He peeked into the shower and smiled at him. “How are you feeling?”_ _

__Sora jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to look at him, hand on his chest. “I’m feeling okay. Better, but not a lot. Kind of just want to sleep.” he moved to turn off the water. “Yeah. I talked to Axel. I guess Rox has a friend in the VA who specializes in sleep patterns. Maybe she can help you. Teach you meditation on top of your current medication that can help with the PTSD.” Riku informed him._ _

__Humming in response, Sora dried himself off and put his pajamas back on. “Really? I guess it doesn’t hurt to try.”_ _

__Grabbing his waist, Riku placed a gentle kiss on top of his forehead. “I will be there, every step of the way. Holding you close to me even during your darkest spells.” he swayed them._ _

__“Are those part of your vows?” Sora mused._ _

__Riku blushed after being caught and pulled Sora into him, kissing him softly. “Let’s get some rest.”_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2!!
> 
> PLEASE keep in mind that I do not have a lot of knowledge of PTSD other than personal experiences and research I have done. If any of you guys feel that I didn't do it justice or should do more research, please let me know (preferably nicely) so I can make sure that the story is as realistic as possible. 
> 
> I am also looking for a beta, someone to read over chapters to make sure there's no grammar mistakes and someone I can bounce ideas off of. If you are interested, please feel free to message me about it. (:

**Author's Note:**

> I figured I'd write about the actual chapter here. After I first wrote my Akuroku fic which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946973) I started getting back into the fandom a lot more. I have read a few Soriku fics on here and it really inspired me. There's also the fact that there has been so much KH3 hype that I need to contain it somewhere to avoid annoying my SO and friends. 
> 
> So the plot for this story came from [this](http://nijuukoo.tumblr.com/post/125778440607/813-month-day-3-amputee-word-from) fanart. Obviously not Soriku, but it just sparked an idea. 
> 
> I hope everyone likes this first chapter. It may be a while before I share the next one, I'm gonna try and get a good schedule going for posting stories. 
> 
> <3


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